So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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