shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We have started to decorate penises.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
