sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
