I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize