She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
