we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
