is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
