i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
