I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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