she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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