How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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