is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Randomize
