u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
