does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
