no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
