he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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