Swine flu is the new snow day.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
