I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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