Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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