Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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