You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Pants are for mortals
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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