I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize