Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
