The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize