id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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