is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
