okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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