dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
