Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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