Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I just blew my weed a kiss
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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