Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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