I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
