No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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