vagina is talking i cant
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
