You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
