i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
