uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
