My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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