your thong is hanging out like whoa
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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