I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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