I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
