Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
