The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize