I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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