every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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