where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
