You just made me feel so damn special
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
