honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
