guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
