there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
