drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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