And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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