even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
