Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Operation Purity has been aborted
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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