Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
