i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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