why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
