i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
