At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
