Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
