I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
