absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
There r osticjed everywhere
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
