You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
