Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize