A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
