This is not my ceiling
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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