I would go down on you faster than GM stock
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize