We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
