I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I checked into jail on foursquare
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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